Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds - David C. Pollock

Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds, Revised Edition by David C. Pollock
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I've been an Adult-TCK for almost 20 years now, and only wish I'd found this book years ago! If you are a TCK (child or adult), or a parent, significant other, or even the confused friend of one, you should read this book instead of just stumbling around in the dark. We have very specific identity and relational challenges because we went through developmental stages differently, and this book helps it all make sense.

If you've not heard the term before (which is likely), a TCK is someone who spends any of their developmental years living in another country besides their passport country, or in a different culture/country than that of their parents. This most often includes kids whose parents are involved in international missions, military, or business, but there could be other reasons they became expats.

One immediately useful part of the book is on figuring out a strategy to answer the dreaded "where are you from?" question, which still freezes me almost every time (it turns out that's not the best time to have an identity crisis). I'm still working on that one!

Beyond those basics, I have finally begun to to understand how I am and why, and to get better at explaining that to other people. This is huge. I had given up trying to explain myself to others within a year of trying to integrate into 'normal' life. Sad, but it's true.

I now understand how my patterns of developing relationships differ from people who grew up monoculturally. It's a big help for me to be mindful of that when interacting with people that I don't know very well. I'm learning to strike that balance between engaging with people and not scaring them off (well, trying anyway). It's not easy, but now at least I know why and I'm more determined to keep trying.

I highly recommend this to any TCK, especially those now living back 'at home' or about to do so. I'd also recommend it for parents of TCKs so they can understand what their kids will be going through and how it will affect them later in life. I've given a copy to my brother, sister, and parents because it's still so relevant for all of us.